Maybe your ex-partner cheated, maybe they are not allowing you to have contact with your child or they committed a crime against you. Whatever the reason may be, if your ex-spouse requests spousal maintenance (alimony), you don’t want to have to pay someone that is actively harming you. This blog deals with the tricky question whether a spouse can forfeit spousal maintenance in The Netherlands due to bad behaviour.
Dutch law: maintenance is normally determined by financial factors
In most cases, the Dutch courts only take financial factors are taken into account when calculating maintenance. More information on calculating spousal maintenance in The Netherlands can be found here.
However, the Dutch courts do have discretion to take non-financial factors into account. Substantially reducing or forfeiting maintenance altogether is possible when the ‘bond between the spouses’, the legal precept upon which spousal maintenance is grounded, is broken due to misbehaviour of the ex-partner.
Normally there is an obligation to take care of each other financially even after the marriage has ended. According to the law, ex-spouses owe each other solidarity to keep their financial positions as equal as possible after the divorce. In most cases this principle holds firm even if you are not ‘nice’ to each other.The term misbehaviour should not be taken lightly. Case law illustrates that only the most grave of circumstances can break this obligation.
What does not constitute severe misbehaviour?
In the case of ex-partners, the bar is set pretty high. Let’s start with what does not constitute grounds to refuse or reduce maintenance:
- Finding out your ex-partner cheated on you;
- Your ex-partner is now seeing a close friend or relative of yours romantically;
- Your ex-partner is making it difficult to see your children;
- Your ex-partner has been verbally and emotionally abusive on occasion;
- Your ex-partner has badmouthed you to your friends and family or your boss;
- During the divorce, your ex-partner acted improperly or made false accusations.
Divorce does not bring out the best in people and therefore, mostly, bad or rude behaviour that happens during the divorce process is not in itself enough for a spouse to forfeit their right to maintenance. That is, unless there are extreme circumstances at play.
If your ex-partner remarries or starts cohabiting, then the law states that the right to spousal maintenance ceases automatically. Court proceedings are not necessary if this happens.
What does constitute severe misbehaviour?
Examples include severe stalking (evidenced by police arrests and convictions), repeated damage to property, severe and continued physical abuse or threats. Continued online abuse and slander can also be relevant. It would simply be unreasonable for the victim to have to keep paying the aggressor.
Physical violence against an ex-partner
In a case from 2023 the appeal court denied an ex-wife’s request for maintenance after her conviction for physical abuse and threatening behaviour. The applicant held that the incidents were the result of psychological problems and alcohol abuse. The court judged that there was no evidence that the spouse was cooperating with treatment and upheld that no maintenance was due.
However, in another case from 2024 the family court in The Hague judged that one conviction for violent abuse perpetrated by the ex-husband was not enough to forfeit maintenance.
Character assassination and false charges
An ex-wife engaged in a series of malicious actions against her ex-husband in a case from 2016. This included manipulating their children to falsely believe he abused them. She orchestrated a visit to the police to file false accusations against their father. Additionally, the ex-wife filed eight false charges against him, ranging from attempted murder to child exploitation. She repeatedly approached his employer, portraying him as a psychopath and narcissist on at least six occasions.
In addition, she falsely accused him publicly on social media platforms, jeopardizing his reputation, targeted his family and friends and his new partner. Her actions then even escalated, involving threats with a knife, fake distress calls to the police. She also deliberately damaged the man’s car, and she repeatedly approached the man’s psychologist and family doctor with false information. The court held that there was no duty to support someone that spent so long wilfully harming her ex-husband, even to the extent of traumatising their children.
In another case from 2013 an ex-wife falsely accused her ex-husband of owning and watching child pornography. She falsely pressed charges, systematically accused him and spread this information about him in her surroundings. The court ruled that any form of solidarity from the marriage no longer applied because of her actions. This case shows that (evidence of) physical damage is not necessary. Purely psychological and social damage can be just as relevant to the court’s decision.
Conclusion
Nearly all successful cases regard some form of systematic and long-term harassment and violence or abuse. Single incidents, unless they involve an extremely violent crime, are not usually enough to forfeit maintenance. In order to prove that an ex-spouse should forfeit maintenance due to bad behaviour, there must be substantial evidence of repeated abuse. Keeping records to document incidents is essential.
There are often also financial factors in play that warrant adjusting spousal maintenance. There may be grounds to at least reduce the amount owing. Your ex-partner may now be working more, or you may have different personal circumstances now. The courts may see grounds to limit maintenance rather than deny maintenance altogether. In practice, most cases will not be decided on an all or nothing basis.
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Feel free to contact us if you have any questions regarding adjusting or limiting spousal maintenance.
